“Noooooo that can’t be, it’s not fair” Michelle my wife shouts as her favourite contestant is thrown out of Strictly Come Dancing..
Strictly Come Dancing is probably the most popular TV show in the UK, and the idea has been replicated all over the world. The idea is that famous personalities partner with professional dancers. The goal is to take novices from beginner and weekly introduce them to a variety of dances from the Latin and Ballroom disciplines. Each week one of them is removed by a combination of a judges vote and the general public until a winner is found
Every year they choose a couple of contestants who are not natural dancers and can only be described as terrible. However, they are very popular with the public.
What frustrates us both as dancers ourselves is when the obviously great dancers are removed but the contestants who are terrible stay.
They stay in the competition not through talent or skill but people “like” them.
This phenomenon shows up in all walks of life and of course in business.
One of the biggest lessons I learned over the years was that it often didn’t matter how good I was at what I did, there was always a big section of society that just wouldn’t engage me because we just didn’t click.
This “Click” we can put down to many things. We can start to look at behavioural styles such as those shown in the DISC assessments, or we can start crossing over into other areas of assessments such as motivations and values. We can start looking at but not limited to Body Language and NLP.
In a nutshell, it can become an expensive undertaking, although an investment I would advise anyone to make who has to work with people as a fundamental part of their business.
As human beings, we tend to be comfortable with people who are “like us” we feel safe because we see ourselves ” just as maybe so many people see themselves in the “challenged dancers” in the story above. They make them feel good, and they need a chance –right? When they are not like us, then it starts to move subconsciously to threat. This goes back to our cave man days when fight, flight or freeze were the solutions to threats.
At a more simple level and something we can do right now is just to be more friendly. Take interests in other people, in what makes them tick, their GOALS their businesses and their lives. Now some people are simply not open to sharing every aspect of their lives, but they still do like to talk about themselves, but they may be open to talking about their work or their hobbies. For more advanced skills look up DISC or NLP
The skill of simply listening to people rather than talking over them, looking at them rather than past them or at our phones while they talk. A great rule of thumb is that we have two ears and one mouth and should use them proportionately.
If you are a consultant or sales person, then try to take the “sale/money” aspect out of your consultation and look deeper at yourself and ask yourself why you are doing this in your heart. What pain are you trying to elevate for this person and if possible cross reference this with “why do you do what you do” Even if a sale is not the appropriate outcome for your meeting then perhaps you can help them by suggesting another resource. When our hearts and mind are not focused on sales and the money but instead to help someone find a solution our whole energy changes, and you will be surprised how many people can pick this up subconsciously.
Remember, Liking someone is one of the cornerstones of making a sale along with value and product.
Have you ever had a prospect come back to you even though they didn’t buy from you but they were so impressed at your integrity that they have referred you to someone? Has this ever happened to you I would love to hear your stories?